


You Can Be the Little Spoon

by Pippinpaddleopsicopolis (Barnable)



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Sokka (Avatar)-centric, They're Engaged Your Honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:36:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26916727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barnable/pseuds/Pippinpaddleopsicopolis
Summary: Sokka has trouble sleeping whenever he visits the Fire Nation. It's hard to explain why.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 337





	You Can Be the Little Spoon

**Author's Note:**

> [Thank you to the lovely anon on tumblr who gave me the idea for this fic!](https://tikmasjiens.tumblr.com/post/631525585592762368/more-stuff-to-perhaps-add-about-sokka-staying-up)

Sokka couldn’t sleep.

No, that was the wrong way to phrase it. His body wanted the rest. It _needed_ the rest. But after too many nights waking up in a cold sweat, he couldn’t do it anymore. Physically, his body was _begging_ him to just lie down and take a nap, but mentally, he couldn’t convince himself to do it. He couldn’t convince himself to climb into bed, no matter how inviting Zuko’s sleeping figure looked. He paced around the room again.

 _Just go to bed, Sokka_ , he thought, though his legs refused to obey. _You’re fine. You’re overreacting again._

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to walk over to the bed, though he hesitated at the covers. Sokka loved being in the Fire Nation with Zuko, he really did, but every time he came for a visit, the heat made it even harder for him to sleep. It didn’t matter if he took off his shirt and wore the lightest shorts he owned, or laid on top of the blankets, or left the window open—it wasn’t home. It would never be home. It was the site of his greatest failure and that was what really hurt.

That considered, it was also the site of his first kiss with Zuko and somehow, he managed to let that be what drove him. Though he paused again, Sokka forced himself to climb into bed beside Zuko, carefully pulling his fiancé into his arms. He loved holding onto Zuko while he slept, even if the Fire Lord’s long hair always tickled his nose. It was hard to believe that he, a nobody from the Water Tribe, could make the _Fire Lord_ feel safe, but he did. He did and clinging to Zuko made him feel safe too. But only when he was awake.

It couldn’t have been more than an hour later when Sokka shot up suddenly, his breathing rapid and his heart nearly pounding out of his chest. He could barely remember the dream aside from the screaming and the explosions ringing out in the distance, but they were there. They were there, echoing in his mind and trying to crack the very last bit of his control. Sokka shoved his hair out of his eyes, brushing his hands over his face as he shook his head quickly, letting out a deep exhale.

Everything hurt. He couldn’t explain _why_ it hurt, but it did. His chest ached, his head was throbbing, and his leg was stiff like it only got after the longest of days or the roughest of nights. Sokka did his best to take a controlled breath, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and ignoring the strands of hair which slipped out from behind his ears to tickle the edge of his jaw. All he had to do was remind his unconscious mind that he was safe. He was in bed with Zuko in one of the highest security buildings in the _world_ and he was safe.

“Hey.” Given how abruptly he’d awoken, the hand on Sokka’s shoulder shouldn’t have been startling, but he jumped a little anyway. Zuko’s touch was warm as he slid an arm around Sokka’s waist, gently squeezing his skin and urging him to lie back down. “Are you okay, Sokka?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Though he knew he was still shaking too badly, still breathing too quickly, Sokka couldn’t resist Zuko’s gentle touch, and slid back down to the pillows beside him. He shifted when Zuko curled up at his side, his fingers gripping around Sokka’s waist and his head snuggling under his shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“No, it’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you’re all right. Your heart is beating really fast.”

“You think that might be because a really hot guy is dragging his fingers over it right now?”

“I think you had a bad dream and you’re using humor to keep from talking about it.” Zuko’s words were quiet and slurred, his eyes already closed again despite his fingers continuing to drag across Sokka’s torso. Sokka slid an arm around Zuko too, his fingers playing with the Fire Lord’s long hair for stress relief just as much as they did for pleasure. “It’s okay, Sokka. I get those too sometimes. Just go back to sleep, I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Sokka allowed himself a soft smile as he shifted to kiss the top of Zuko’s head. He really did appreciate the sentiment and the reassurance, but it was already too late for Zuko to stop the pain. It wasn’t a single dream which threw him off, it was a painful stream of endless torture that his mind seemed to think he deserved. But he didn’t say that. Instead, he just pulled Zuko in a little closer to him.

He couldn’t stop the bad thoughts, but he knew how to keep them at bay. At least, until he fell asleep and all the demons took back over again.

* * *

“Hey, you all right?”

Sokka lurched when Zuko asked the question, nearly jumping out of his nonexistent shoes and whipping around to look at him. His normally bright blue eyes were wide and bloodshot, his hands shaking badly as he ceased the pouring of what must’ve been his eighteenth cup of coffee. He nodded jerkily, only glancing back to where Zuko stood in the doorway before returning to his work.

“I’m fine,” Sokka mumbled, his fingers already moving and adding more words upon his page. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to jump. I just didn’t hear you come in.”

Zuko let out a soft sigh, stepping up to where Sokka was seated at the table and draping his arms around his shoulders. He leaned forward, gripping onto Sokka’s shirt as he pressed a soft kiss to the edge of his jawline. His muscles were tense, his teeth nibbling on the bottom of his lip, and his eyes still focused on his work despite Zuko’s affections. Something was wrong, and Zuko was almost certain it had to do with the fact that Sokka hadn’t slept well.

“You should take a break,” said Zuko gently, wrapping his fingers around Sokka’s free hand. His fiancé lightly held him back, but only responded to his comment by shaking his head. “Babe, please. You were up half the night. I have the next hour free, why don’t you just come back to our room and we can take a little nap?”

“No, I can’t.” Sokka sniffed, dropping his writing implements and shifting around the papers in front of him. “I have my schedule laid out for the whole day, and if I lose an hour to napping, I’m going to be behind until… next month.”

“Sokka, it’s okay. I know you have a lot to do but you’re not going to get that far behind because you stop to rest. I’ll help you catch up afterward, okay? Please. I’m worried about you.”

“You don’t have to be worried about me, Zuko. I only lost like, five minutes of sleep last night. It’s not a big deal.”

“Hey.” Zuko slid an arm out from around Sokka’s shoulders, moving around to see him from the side. He looked up and down Sokka’s exhausted face, another sigh escaping his lips. Something was definitely wrong. “Listen, I know you’re not always great at opening up, but I need you to talk to me, okay?”

“ _No_. I don’t need to talk, I’m fine.” Sokka ripped out of his grasp without warning, his movements rough but not aggressive. He shifted back into his seat, reaching up to chew on his thumbnail before he glanced at Zuko out of the corner of his eye. More than anything, Zuko wanted to reach out to him again, but he resisted the urge. “Just leave me alone, okay? I only have twenty minutes to finish this.”

“Sokka—”

“I already told you ‘no’, Zuko. Just get out. I need to focus.”

Zuko hesitated before he finally nodded and turned to leave. He didn’t want to go, to abandon Sokka when he so clearly needed help, but if he wasn’t going to take it, there wasn’t much else Zuko could do for him. He turned back to look at his fiancé one final time as he stepped out the door, a soft sigh escaping his lips. He didn’t know _what_ he was going to do, but he was determined to cheer up Sokka somehow.

Even if he didn’t seem to want it.

* * *

Distraction and repression were two words Sokka was overly familiar with.

His entire life, when he wanted to get away from something, that was what he did. He repressed it, doing whatever he could to keep people from knowing about it, and then buried himself in his work to distract himself from whatever thoughts managed to slip through. For a while, Sokka didn’t realize what he was doing, but the moment someone pointed it out to him, he never stopped recognizing the pattern. Which meant, yes, he was _entirely_ aware of what he was doing when he refused to take a break to nap with Zuko. He just couldn’t stop to care.

Though he tried his best to ignore everything that bothered him, there was always _something_ that got to him. Sokka’s leg was dragging behind him and he knew it because it _throbbed,_ but it was his fault that it hurt so he refused to feel sorry for himself. He had a cane. He had a cane, and he should have used it, but he was stupid and thought he’d be fine for a few walks around the palace. He wasn’t. It hurt an unreasonable amount, probably thanks to his early training session as he tried to work through his nightmare that morning.

“Hey.” Zuko’s arm was around his waist before he could resist, and without thinking, Sokka let himself fall into his fiancé’s grasp. He allowed his left arm to be draped around Zuko’s shoulder and shifted his stance to keep his weight on his right as much as he could. Zuko’s right fingers gripped just above his waist, his left reaching up to grip onto Sokka’s. “Are you feeling all right?”

“Yes.” In one word, Sokka somehow managed to come across as bitter, hostile, and depressed all at once. He immediately felt bad for the way he spoke, but he couldn’t take it back. Instead, he leaned further into Zuko’s shoulder, squeezing his hand tightly. When he went on, his voice was low, trying desperately not to sound angry or upset. “My leg hurts.”

“I know, you were limping again.” He turned his head to press a gentle kiss to Sokka’s temple, pulling him in a little closer when he sniffed. It hadn’t quite hit him until he was standing in Zuko’s arms, but he was _tired_. He was so fucking tired, and he knew he was supposed to eat dinner, but all he wanted was rest. “I know you don’t like changing up your schedule, but will you please, _please_ come lie down with me for a little bit? Just twenty minutes and we’ll go get dinner, okay?”

He didn’t answer right away. Sokka knew that he should say “yes”, that he wanted to take a nap more than anything in the world and he needed to sit down regardless, but he couldn’t. Abandoning his schedule, even for a minor change like a nap instead of the first half of dinner, gave him far more anxiety than he cared to admit, and he found himself shaking his head. It took another squeeze from Zuko’s hand around his waist and a kiss to the back of his left hand to convince him to change his reaction into a nod.

“Just a little nap,” he whispered, blinking back the inexplicable tears that built up in his eyes. “I don’t want to throw off my schedule, okay?”

“Okay.”

Zuko walked him all the way back to their room, dragging the blankets back before he helped Sokka to sit down. Sokka hated that he had to do that, how _useless_ it made him feel to have to be practically lifted into bed, but it didn’t hurt and that was what mattered. He started to feel a little better when Zuko snuggled up to his left side, sliding their legs close together. It wasn’t just his touch and his comfort that helped but his unnaturally warm body, bringing a calm, gentle comfort his aching leg.

But it didn’t do anything for his mental state.

He didn’t know how long he managed to fall asleep for, but it couldn’t have been more than five minutes before Sokka’s eyes shot open, his chest rising and falling heavily. Thankfully, Zuko was still out of it beside him, curled into the pillows beneath his arm. It wasn’t necessarily a conscious movement that Zuko was always the one being snuggled; it was just the way they were. Sokka liked having someone to cling to, and Zuko liked being held. It worked. But sometimes, when he woke up from an awful, _awful_ dream, all Sokka wanted was someone to hold onto him.

Though he had no intention of going back to sleep, Sokka decided not to get out of bed yet. Zuko was getting rest, and that was important enough for him to stay there at least a few minutes longer. But he wasn’t going to go back to sleep. If going to sleep meant he had to relieve those things, the worst moments of his entire life, then he wasn’t going to do it anymore. It hurt too much. It scared him too much. It was awful and he hated it and just couldn’t do it anymore. So, he resolved, he wouldn’t.

Not until he returned home and no longer had to sleep in the nation that brought him so much pain.

* * *

Something was wrong.

Something was very, _very_ wrong but no matter how hard he tried, Zuko couldn’t figure out what it was. Sokka was bitter and irritable and he wouldn’t answer a damn question. Every time Zuko approached him, regardless of how he tried to ask the question, all his fiancé would say to him was, “I’m fine”. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t fine and it was obvious but no matter how hard he tried, Zuko couldn’t get him to talk about what was bothering him. It just built up day after day until Sokka barely even wanted to see him anymore. At least, that’s what it felt like.

He was bitter, irritable, and each time Zuko tried to ask what was wrong, all Sokka did was snap at him again. Normally, Sokka would be the one constantly talking throughout the day, if only to share goofy jokes and loving comments, but he wasn’t doing it anymore. He wasn’t doing anything but keeping his mouth shut until someone pissed him off and at that point, he went off the deep end. Sokka was no stranger to shouting, he’d called out more than a few sour politicians he’d met with during his time visiting Zuko in the Fire Nation, but this was worse than that. So much worse than that.

“I don’t know why you think you’re all high and mighty,” Sokka went on, despite Zuko’s silent pleading for him to stop, “but you’re not. You’re a stupid, self-absorbed asshole and the fact that you think you have _any_ authority in this situation is just—”

“Sokka, please.” In no way was Zuko trying to defend the guy who pissed him off, he just wanted his fiancé to be okay. He reached out to Sokka’s wrist, wanting to do whatever he could to ground him, but it didn’t work. Sokka ripped away. “Hey. I know you’re hurting, but I need you to sit down, okay?”

“No, I’m not going to sit down. These people are walking all over you and your nation and my fucking tribe and you don’t even care. I _know_ that you can yell at them. I _know_ that you have a temper that would send all of them screaming out of here and I don’t understand why you won’t use it. I don’t understand why you’re just letting them treat you— _us_ , our _people_ —like this.”

It was impossible to continue the conversation with the other politicians in the room. Zuko looked to Sokka for a long moment before dismissing each and every one of them; holding out a hand the moment the last one walked out the door. Sokka glanced over to his cane resting beside his seat before he reached out for Zuko’s hand. He moved stiffly through the few feet, but within seconds, he was seated in Zuko’s lap rather than alone at the table. He didn’t resist his fiancé’s grasp, giving Zuko the chance to comfort him the way he’d been so desperate to.

Sokka’s entire body was shaking and though he knew he should’ve, Zuko didn’t immediately assume it to be from the anger. He didn’t know what else it could’ve been, however, and chose not to say anything about it as he clung to Sokka’s back. His soft brown hair tickled the edge of Zuko’s neck, his betrothal hairpiece sliding just past the Fire Lord’s ear. He was warm and beautiful, and it hurt because all Zuko wanted was to see Sokka’s beautiful smile, but he couldn’t get anything more than a quiet sniff.

“You know I don’t want to defend them, Sokka.” He shifted his arm to give Sokka’s shoulder a squeeze, clinging to him tighter when he nodded and let out a quiet whimper. “I don’t like a lot of their attitudes either but I’m the _Fire Lord_. I have to make sure that they trust me and shouting at them in the middle of a meeting isn’t going to help anything. Just take a deep breath, okay? It’s okay.”

That was the point where Zuko expected his fiancé to say something. The moment where he always mumbled some sort of pet name or goofy comment. It didn’t happen. Sokka didn’t say a single word, just taking a long, shaking breath as he pressed his forehead against Zuko’s shoulder. The silence was almost worse than the anger. He was desperate for a sarcastic remark or a silly joke but Sokka gave him nothing. Instead, he only sat there, cradled in his fiancé’s arms and keeping his mouth shut save for the occasional shuddering breath.

“Hey.” Given Sokka’s current state, it seemed pointless to try and hold a conversation. Instead, Zuko gently nudged him, sliding a finger down the edge of his jaw and tilting his head up. Zuko pressed a kiss to his fiancé’s forehead, slowly leaning their heads together. “I love you.”

Sokka clung to him tighter. “I love you too, Fire Lord Hotman.”

Finally, Zuko was able to smile.

* * *

The worst part about not sleeping was that Sokka found himself suddenly unable to control his mood swings.

One moment, he would be close to crying in Zuko’s arms, and the next, he was snapping at one of the servants for daring to ask whether he was okay. It was stupid and rude, and he knew it, but he couldn’t find a way to control himself. His hormones and emotions were all out of whack, and the more time passed without adequate sleep (he dozed off here and there, but never for more than a few minutes at a time), the less he felt like he could filter what words came out of his mouth.

After three or four days of surviving on short naps, Sokka started to fear that he would be caught. But if there was one thing he had, it was an absolute lightweight of a fiancé, and that made it easier to keep himself from being seen. Zuko was always exhausted by the time he climbed into bed, and he was out within a few minutes. He never seemed to notice that Sokka didn’t fall asleep beside him, nor that he climbed out of bed a few minutes later. At least, that was what he usually did, but not that evening.

Sokka tightened his grip around Zuko’s waist, nuzzling his head into the back of his fiancé’s shoulder. He loved holding onto Zuko. He loved it more than anything else in the world; clinging to him and kissing him and making him feel safe. But it was one of those nights where all he wanted was to turn around and have someone hold _him_. Sokka knew that if he said something, Zuko would never turn him down, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t know how to admit that he was weak and scared and he couldn’t sleep because every time he did, he felt like the world was crumbling around him.

He shook the thoughts from his mind. There was no point in thinking about something he would never do. Regardless of how terrified he was of the nightmares, the ones which plagued him ever since the war, Sokka allowed himself to close his eyes. It was okay. He was safe, holding Zuko in his arms, lying in one of the most high-security places in the entire world. Even if he didn’t sleep, it was okay for him to rest. It was okay for him to close his eyes and at least _pretend_ that he was capable of relaxing at the site of his greatest failure.

It was all right at first. Sokka clung to his fiancé, holding him close and lacing his fingers around his stomach. He was comfortable and he felt safe and everything was okay. But then he let his eyes drift closed for a little too long and suddenly, the world was crumbling around him. All he could hear was screaming, splashing, explosions in the distance. Metal and flames echoed around him, filling his ears and stealing the last of the peace in the air. His heart was pounding, his lungs burning as he tried to breathe through the fear, and then, just was quickly as it started, it was over.

Thankfully, Zuko was still asleep somehow. He didn’t see when Sokka bolted up right, one hand pressed to his bare chest as he brushed the other against his forehead. It ached. His head, his chest, his _leg_. Everything hurt and his eyes were burning and all he wanted was for it to stop. He slid a hand up to push away the first tear that escaped his eyes, taking another shaking breath as he stared in front of him. The walls were dark. Foreboding. They held all the secrets of his greatest failure and the mission that accompanied it.

Though he knew he should’ve done it at some point, Sokka had yet to say anything to Zuko about how uncomfortable he was in the Fire Nation. Zuko did his best to visit the Water Tribe despite not liking the weather and being treated harshly by most of the citizens—for good reason, of course, Sokka didn’t think his Gran Gran would _ever_ get over what happened when they first met—and Sokka wanted to do that too. He wanted to stay there in Zuko’s home despite the looks people gave him, the reminder of the suffering his people went through, and of course, the inescapable fact that during the war, each visit to the Fire Nation felt like walking into death.

“Babe.” Zuko’s hand slid across the back of Sokka’s head first, before both his arms slid down to wrap around his waist. He leaned his chin on Sokka’s shoulder, his long black hair tickling his fiancé’s back. “You okay? It’s the middle of the night. You should go to sleep.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sokka turned around to kiss Zuko’s forehead, nudging him back down into the blankets. He wasn’t going to go back to sleep, but he wasn’t going to let Zuko miss out on his rest either. He pulled his fiancé into his arms, leaning his head into the back of Zuko’s shoulder. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“It’s okay. I’m always here if you need to talk.”

Sokka nodded. He knew that he really, _really_ needed to, he just couldn’t figure out how.

* * *

He wasn’t sleeping.

Zuko didn’t know _why_ he wasn’t sleeping, but he wasn’t sleeping. That was the problem. That was the thing staring him in the fucking face that he somehow didn’t see until it was right in front of him, waking him from his own slumber. Whatever Sokka was hiding, whatever was bothering him and putting him in such a horrible mood, was happening because he wouldn’t sleep, or maybe even the other way around.

After he figured it out, Zuko tried to get Sokka to talk about it, but he denied that there was anything going on. Then he tried a new tactic, subtly trying to get Sokka to take naps with him. He wouldn’t do that either. Eventually, Zuko took to trying to stay up until he _knew_ that Sokka was asleep, but he worked too long of days and by the time he was wrapped up in his fiancé’s arms, falling asleep happened within seconds and made it impossible for him to stay alert.

It was only upon discovering Sokka laying half-asleep in the planning room when Zuko finally found the chance to really approach him. He walked over and slid an arm around Sokka’s shoulders, gently pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Sokka glanced around to him, reaching out to take Zuko’s hand when he offered it. It was clear that Sokka was exhausted, though he still wasn’t planning to actually sleep. Zuko gave his hand a squeeze, trying to ease into the conversation.

“I’m going to take a nap,” he said quietly. Honestly, Zuko hadn’t really planned for a nap nor did he necessarily have time for it, but Sokka needed to sleep and he would do whatever it took to make that happen. “Please come with me. You look so fucking tired.”

“No, it’s fine.” Somehow, he was even resisting Zuko’s continuous kisses, though he kept his grip around his fiancé’s fingers with the hand which wasn’t writing plans. “I’m not that tired, I’ve just been working on this for a few hours and it’s been a little frustrating.”

“Sokka, please. I know you haven’t been sleeping.”

The fact that Sokka didn’t respond wasn’t surprising in the least. Zuko took the moment of silence to swing a leg over Sokka’s lap, sliding between his fiancé and his work to make sure that nothing distracted him from facing his problems. His slid his hands through Sokka’s hair, gently dragging his fingers down the shaved sides of it before leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his forehead. The comforted exhale that Sokka let out was audible, his arms finally moving to hold Zuko close. He gripped around his lower back, his fingers shaking as they squeezed the fabric of his robes.

“I’m sorry.” His words were quiet and shook with each syllable, stunted with fear and guilt that Zuko wished he never had to feel. “I don’t like it here. I know I’m your fiancé but the people here, they look at me like— and I know it shouldn’t but it brings back so many memories of— every time I try to sleep, I just— I have these _stupid_ nightmares and I don’t even want to close my eyes anymore. I don’t want to blink because I know if I do, all I’m going to see is destruction and pain and suffering and _war_ and I can’t do it. It hurts too much.”

“It’s okay.” Zuko slid his hands back around Sokka’s face, gently stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. He stayed that way for a minute before pushing them around to the back of Sokka’s head and gently urging him down into his shoulder. Zuko held him close, rubbing his back reassuringly. “Thank you for telling me. I understand and you know I still love you, right? I know it’s not easy. You don’t have to stay here if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“Yes, I do. We’re supposed to have another two weeks together before I go home for the winter and I can’t ruin that.”

“Okay, but if you can’t sleep here, then you can’t stay here. It’s not healthy. Hey.” He moved his thumbs back around to brush a stray tear off Sokka’s cheek, turning his head to press another kiss to his temple. “It’s okay, Sokka. You’re not ruining anything. I’ll get a ship ready and we can have you home by nightfall tomorrow. Is that okay? I just want what’s best for you.”

A long moment passed before Sokka finally nodded, but when he did, Zuko hugged him tighter. Now that he knew the truth, he could make sure that everything was okay. That his fiancé would never have to hurt again.

* * *

There was no part of Sokka that didn’t feel guilty for cutting his visit short, but he couldn’t convince Zuko that it was okay for him to stay.

In Zuko’s defense, it was very obvious that Sokka was not doing well in the Fire Nation and he wasn’t going to be getting better any time soon. But still, they wouldn’t be able to see each other for another three months and it wasn’t fair to either of them that Sokka’s _stupid_ brain was stealing time away from them. He apologized a thousand times, did everything he could to make it up to Zuko in the hours leading up to his departure, and kicked himself too many times over as he loaded his things onto the ship.

He didn’t want to leave Zuko. He wanted to leave the Fire Nation and the bad memories behind, but he didn’t want to leave Zuko. By the time his fiancé arrived at the docks, Sokka was almost in tears just at how _awful_ he felt about what happened. About how his stupid brain and his stupid memories and nightmares made it so he wouldn’t be able to stay. He waved to Zuko with his right hand when he came into view, his left balancing on his cane. Zuko smiled and waved back, not doing more until he came to a stop in front of Sokka.

“Hey, beautiful.” The smile never left Zuko’s face as he reached out for Sokka’s open hand, lacing their fingers together and giving him a tight squeeze. Sokka barely managed to smile back, returning more of a gesture with his fingers than anything else. “You got everything you need?”

“Yeah,” said Sokka sadly, nodding as he bit down on his lip. He glanced over to the boat behind him before looking back to Zuko, looking up to meet his shining amber gaze. It hurt knowing it would be so long until he could see those eyes again. “Everything except my gorgeous fiancé.”

“That’s funny, because I think he’s standing right here.” Zuko leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of Sokka’s nose; an action which never failed to make him smile. “Unless you have another secret fiancé you haven’t told me about, in which case, I think there’s something we need to talk about.”

“Come on, Zuko, you know what I mean. I’m really, really sorry I couldn’t stay longer. I love you so much. I love you so, _so_ much but I think I just— I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready to be back in the Fire Nation yet. Not like this.”

“It’s okay. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Yes, I do.” His voice cracked more than he wanted it to, the guilt eating away at him. “We were supposed to have two more weeks.”

“And we will have two more weeks.” Out of nowhere, Zuko shifted his stance and pulled Sokka into his arms, grabbing his cane with one hand and sweeping him off his feet with his elbows. “You didn’t really think I was going to let you leave me like that, did you? I had them load my stuff on earlier. Enough for two weeks. We’re not losing a second of our time.”

“Zuko, you don’t have to—”

“Yes, I do. And besides, I think I’m a little overdue for another lecture from your Gran Gran.”

Sokka didn’t know what to say. He threw his arms around Zuko’s neck, remaining speechless as his fiancé carried him into the ship. For a moment, he was too stunned to move at all, and then, out of nowhere, he couldn’t stop smiling. He smiled and he laughed and didn’t stop even as he turned to kiss all over Zuko’s face. Zuko chuckled along with him, particularly when Sokka started kissing along his jawline and around his ear.

The moment Zuko put him down inside the ship, Sokka turned and pulled their lips together, and he _still_ couldn’t stop smiling through their kiss. Thankfully, Zuko was smiling too which made him feel a little less awkward about his ridiculous amount of happiness. When they finally pulled apart, they stared at each other for several long seconds, Zuko chewing the edge of his lip and Sokka still grinning as he reached for Zuko’s hands again.

“I take it that means you like this change of plans?”

Sokka only kissed him again.

* * *

Minus the fact that he was absolutely freezing his ass off (much as he wished he could, Zuko couldn’t keep up his fire breathing indefinitely, and did it mainly in five minute bursts to keep up his energy while shivering away in a coat his fiancé _insisted_ he wear), going with Sokka to the Southern Water Tribe was one of the best decisions Zuko made in ages.

He got the lecture he was expecting from Kanna—which he took in stride because let’s be honest, he was horrible to her, and deserved nothing less—very shortly after they arrived, and everything was smooth sailing from there. Sokka took him on a long walk, finally letting his guard down and wordlessly allowing Zuko to help and support his left side when terrain got rough and he struggled with his leg. He smiled the whole way, pointing out his favorite fishing spots and places he’d done things with his family. Zuko listened to everything he said but honestly, it didn’t matter what he said. He just loved seeing Sokka smile.

After their walk, a lengthy talk by the water, and a meal consisting entirely of Sokka’s favorite foods, they finally called it a night. Sokka pulled Zuko into bed with him and they kissed for longer than they had for a while, and laughing when Sokka claimed he only kissed Zuko’s sensitive spots to help him warm up (in Sokka’s defense, getting flustered and blushy _always_ made his body temperature skyrocket). It was perfect and amazing and Zuko loved every second of it but the moment it was over, and they turned to go to sleep, something changed in Sokka’s expression.

“Hey, everything okay?” Zuko hated the idea that something could be wrong after such an amazing night. He looked to where Sokka was sitting a few feet away from him, but his fiancé only nodded quickly. “Please don’t lie to me, Sokka.”

“What if I still can’t sleep?” His words were quiet and laced with fear, one thumb lifting to his mouth as he chewed nervously on his nail. “It’s not just the Fire Nation, Zuko. That made it worse, but I— I have nightmares here too and I just— I don’t know. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t know if I can.”

“Can you try?” When Sokka did nothing but look to him with wide, teary eyes, Zuko held out a hand. “Please, Sokka. Just lie down with me, okay? You need to sleep.”

He hesitated before squeaking out his confession. “I’m scared.”

“It’s okay. Just come here, okay? Just try it. Please. You can be the little spoon.”

The look on Sokka’s face was touched and soft and it took a long moment, but he finally nodded and crawled into Zuko’s arms. It was different than usual, not the way they naturally and habitually laid down, and yet it was perfect in its own way. Zuko slid his arms around Sokka’s stomach, pulling him in close and pressing one more kiss to his cheek before he snuggled into the blankets; his hair spilling over the both of them and his fingers reaching to wrap around Sokka’s.

Sokka was warm and Zuko was freezing, but he chose not to use his bending until he knew that his fiancé was fast asleep. When he knew that he was okay, and he felt safe and comfortable and he could rest without nightmares or reminders of horrible things. It took a little while, at least twenty minutes by Zuko’s estimate, but eventually, he heard the sound. Sokka’s soft, even breaths swirling in the air beside him, barely visible through the peeking moonlight. Zuko smiled and hugged him a little tighter.

He understood why Sokka was scared to tell him about the nightmares but if there was one thing Zuko was determined to do before he had to return to the Fire Nation, it was prove to his fiancé that there was _nothing_ Zuko wouldn’t do for him.


End file.
